10 Signs You Might Love Money

As is well known, the Bible says "the love of money is the root of all evil."  Few people give any thought to their love for money.  Money is celebrated, and those who have it are thought of as being virtuous in our society.  Indeed, poverty is often thought to be the result of a lack of moral character, and those who are poor are thought to be cursed.  Unfortunately, the church has done little to challenge this conception.  As it turns out, many in the church have tied wealth and financial gain to the Gospel, and a growing number of pastors are living high off the hog as a result of the "blessings" associated with their ministry.

Being that "the love of money" is not something we think much about, I thought it would be helpful to put together a small list together of things I believe show that you are infected with the love of money.

1. You worry about money:  We worry about the things we love.  Whether or not you are rich or poor, if you find yourself regularly worrying about your personal finances, you just might be in love with your money.   This is especially true if you worry to the point of losing sleep, or fighting with your spouse.
2. You don't make a budget:  Unless you wake up in the morning and go outside and pick money off the branches of the money tree you have growing in your back yard, you need to make a budget.  Because if you aren't making a regular budget and tracking your spending, then the chances are money is ruling your life in the form of overspending.
3. You are never able to save any money:  Unless you are living in deep poverty or are simply giving every last cent you make to the poor, you should be able to save a portion of every paycheck you cash.  Living paycheck to paycheck may be the common American experience.  But, if you are only one paycheck away from disaster because you have no savings, then money has too much power in your life, because failing to get paid has the power to destroy you.  Money should never have this much power in your life.
4. You are deeply in debt:  This problem is related to everything said thus far.  If you don't make a budget and don't save any money, you are probably having to regularly go into debt to cover unexpected expenses, or "splurges."  And when you take out enough debt, you create another monthly expense that has the power to bring worry into your life, because you constantly worry that you won't have enough money to cover your additional expenses.
5. You aren't a giver:  If you aren't regularly and systematically giving your money to charity and those in need (or you are giving simply so you can get a tax write-off), then the money in your life consumes you, as you are unable to let go of any of it.  You should regularly look for ways to expand your giving, especially in the area of giving directly to those who are poor.  If you judge them by saying things like "But they'll just spend it on booze and drugs!" then you love money too much.
6. You don't forgive personal loans made to others:  It's amazing how many people sue other people, especially close friends and family, simply because that individual has failed to repay what they have promised.  If somebody hits you up for some money, just give it to them with no strings attached.  If they repay you, great.  But if they don't, then don't let that ruin your relationship with that individual.  Prefer to lose money over family and friends.
7. Money keeps you from getting married, having kids, or making other major life decisions:  A lot of "millennials" have delayed making major life choices simply because they feel that they don't have the necessary financial security in order to do so.  As a result, an increasing number of people are waiting until they are 30 or older before finally "getting on" with life.  For some, their wallet leads in areas where their heart should.
8. You are involved in a multi-level marketing scheme, or are regularly trying to "get rich quick":  When I was 19 years old and in college, two of my friends that were engaged were recruited into a multi-level marketing program, and decided to drop out of college.  Their logic was that they didn't need to go to college anymore, because they were going to become "millionaires" within the next year, and would be able to retire.  Needless to say, things didn't work out for them like they thought.
9. You regularly buy the newest, biggest, baddest, coolest, brand name items:  If you feel you are regularly "entitled" to luxury items simply because you work hard and "deserve" the finer things in life, then money has a hold on you. "Work hard and play harder" may sound like a great motto to live by.  But in truth, most people who quote this motto really don't work all that hard to begin with.  They just feel entitled to stuff, and are in love with "bling."
10. You make grand moral judgments about others because of their level of poverty/wealth:  I once was part of a church where the vast majority of the congregation was poor.  I was surprised how many people in the church had harsh feelings towards those who were middle-class or above.  Bitter and jealous comments abounded.  Attitudes and comments such as I heard made me very aware that poor people are just as capable of greed.  "Greed," is not a vice unique to those who are wealthy.  

This list is by no means exhaustive.  What are some other ways you think we demonstrate we are in love with money?  Feel free to comment below...

I. Heart. Money.

I believe if you were to ask a lot people if they loved money, generally speaking, they would probably say "yes." They might add a disclaimer to their affirmation, but their answer would essentially still boil down to a yes. And why not? Money gets you so many things. It allows you to do everything from putting food on the table, to gaining political power and influence. Money, they even say, makes the world go round.

Money is greatly celebrated in our culture. Hip-hop and rap artists frequently make songs about it, and feature it as an important "prop" in their music videos. They show that money is the key to getting bling and having a nice "life." Money is so important to us as a nation that we even have entire cable channels, like CNBC and Fox Business News, dedicated to around the clock coverage of news stories and shows that focus on nothing but money related issues.

Some of us would deny having an intense love for money. But our hearts otherwise betray us. "It's just a tool," we say. Few things will spark more emotion from people than money. Research has shown that money is the primary thing that married couples tend to fight over most, and money problems have resulted in many people who otherwise had an intense romantic love for one another getting a divorce.

A comedian once said "Getting a divorce is like getting your heart ripped out through your wallet." Many men jokingly lament that it's always, "cheaper to keep her." And often, when a divorce happens, at least one person is forced to go through bankruptcy court in addition to divorce court.

I can't personally relate to getting divorced, but I remember this one time I was in a long term relationship that went bad. I remember that one of the first thoughts that entered my head shortly after we broke up was "this sucks... but on a brighter note, I'll finally be able to save some money." I was shocked that this thought entered my head so quickly after the event. My wallet suddenly felt a little bit better. Benjamin Franklin's make for great tissues in which to dry our tears upon. It's a funny thing how money comforts us and touches us on an emotional level.

For example, I work in the financial services industry at a really big national bank. In a prior position, I had to fly all over the country and participate in many court facilitated conferences to try and help people who were having financial troubles. I know from first-hand experience that I've never seen people get more emotional than when I sat down as a bank rep, to have a "heart to heart," with people over their financial challenges.

I'm a super nice guy, and to my recollection, I can't ever recall saying anything to anybody in my entire life that inflicted so much pain in their hearts so as to make anybody cry. I care about people and geniunely love them. But when I went to court to talk to people about restructuring their finances, sometimes I had to have some very difficult conversations with individuals, and those conversations sometimes made people extremely upset, to the point they busted out in tears, which stopped court proceedings, as people had to be excused so that they could collect themselves.

But I can relate. I remember a time when I was going through my own money troubles. My income was very low, but my bills were very high, and I didn't have the ability to make all of my ends meet. I was single, and didn't have to take care of anybody but me. If I got kicked out of my apartment for failing to pay rent, I always had parents who loved me and would be more than glad to let me move back in with them. I had little to lose, except my dignity and pride. But in spite of this, I regularly lost sleep, as I couldn't do anything but stay up and worry about my money woes. I was full of so much worry... and all over money.

As it also turns out, worrying about money isn't a problem only poor people have. People who are well-off and wealthy worry about money too. One millionare I knew once told me that to him, "a million dollars represents a million problems." First, he has to make sure the money is stored in a safe location so that somebody doesn't just steal it. So he puts the money in a bank. Then while in the bank, he has to make sure inflation doesn't eat up his hard earned savings like a moth eats a sweater. So he has to make sure he invests his money in financial instruments that will gain enough earnings to protect him from inflation, but at the same time, make sure he limits his exposure to the market, so as to not become poor overnight because of a stock market crash. Then of course, he has to worry about his children never growing up and becoming financially independent, because they look at their father as a cash cow, and are ready to seize his assets as soon as he dies. His money, which appears to be a great blessing to many, is a potential disaster waiting to happen.

Rich and poor, we all tend to worry about money. And reflecting on these things, I tend to think as human beings that we only worry about those things which we love and care about. And if we find ourselves worrying regularly about money, I think it might be due to the fact that we have an attachment to it that is greater than the purpose of paying our bills, and putting food in our bellies. We worry about money because we love it. But the end, this thing that we love so much often ends up destroying us.

No wonder the Bible is full of warnings about money. Warnings, I think we as Christians living in America would do well to seriously consider. Money is often made out to be a merely neutral thing, a mere tool of many different tools in our shed. But the more I read the Bible, the more I become convinced that money is not the neutral thing that it appears to be. And in my experience, those who frequently point out that money is merely a tool, tend to be the individuals that love money the most. And "the love of money," which consumes so many of us, truly ends up "consuming" us in the end.

No wonder Jesus said it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. While we probably all wish that the only temptation we suffered in this life was the problem of having too much money, in reality, being "blessed" with a surplus of greenbacks and gold tends to only plunge us into the worst of possible problems.

We often see this with people who win the lottery and become multi-millionaires overnight. Even people who win hundreds of millions of dollars end up seeing their lives wrecked as a result. This has happened with so many people that there is said to be a "lottery curse."

Or consider TV shows like "The People's Court" or "Judge Judy." See how many people on those shows end up suing close family members and friends over a few bucks. Such suits often destroy the deeply woven bonds of people with long histories. And all over a few bucks that most people would have never missed to begin with! But money became more important to them than the relationships they had. They were wronged out of their money, so they sued somebody they loved, as a matter of "principle." So they went to court all over something as silly as money, and lost a friend or family member for the rest of their lives in the process.

In the end, the love of money destroys us and those around us. It is no wonder that Jesus said the love of money will cause so many people to lose their own souls. It truly is the root of all sorts of evil. Money is something we would do well to purge from our hearts, and it is something we would do well to never chase.

Stop Saying Marriage Is Hard!!!

Everywhere we turn these days, we hear the very well repeated mantra that "marriage is hard!" To reinforce this idea, it is usually followed by the oft quoted statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. A stat which isn't true, by the way.

And in fact, a lot of people are involved in marriages they find hard. But I don't think this is due to marriage itself being hard, so much as life itself can be difficult, and we often do selfish things in marriage that further compound our problems.

A lot of ministries repeat the idea that marriage is hard, and specialize in helping couples work through their difficulties. But interestingly enough, you would never get the idea that the Bible thinks of marriage as being hard, and that in order to make it, you really have to "work at it."

On the contrary, the Bible paints a pretty joyous picture of marriage, and for all that it has to say on marriage, there is little indication that the Scriptures view marriage as a troubling or inherently difficult thing. In spite of the cottage industry that has built up around the idea of repairing troubled marriages within the church, there is surprisingly very little the Bible has to say about marriage.

Everything that the Bible has to say about marriage is good.

From the very opening pages of the Bible, God tells us that marriage is a blessed thing. In fact, marriage is the only relationship given to mankind that God has inherently blessed in and of itself, and is the only relationship between two people that God is said to have His hand in joining together. Every marriage has its origins in heaven.

So, wherever we get the notion that marriage is hard, we never get such an impression from the Bible. Dare I say that the idea that marriage is hard is a lie that the Devil has told us?

That's not to say that the Bible doesn't record plenty of people who had problematic marriages. Obviously, Eve gave Adam forbidden fruit to eat. The book of Proverbs warns about choosing a nagging wife, or a spouse who has other major character flaws. And of course, the apostle Paul spent a few chapters in Corinthians dealing with sexual issues in the church that put a strain on marital relationships. And other examples could be easily multiplied.

But in spite of such problems, that still doesn't change the fact that the Bible never depicts marriage as hard. The "hard" relationships the Bible deals with involve doing things like loving and forgiving people who are your enemies. Forgiving your enemies, that's supposed to be hard. Forgiving your spouse, that should be a bit easier.

One of my wife's friends once told her that marriage should be "stupidly easy." And I concur. Marriage is a relationship unlike any other. It comes with a unique bond wherein two people are made "one flesh." Since God has blessed marriage from the dawn of creation, and continues to do so even today, it is my contention that marriage should be thought of as "stupidly easy." Stupidly easy is built into the very DNA of the marriage union itself.

In marriage, two people become one person. And the last time I checked, I find it pretty easy to get along with myself. As most people find it easy to get along with themselves. I like myself quite a bit. I make me pretty happy. Sometimes I even tell jokes that make me laugh, even if nobody else in the room finds them funny. If I can't crack up anybody else, I can crack me up! I'm sure you tend to be the same way.

Therefore, if we really believe that two people become one in the marriage union, then we should look at marriage as fundamentally no different than getting along with ourselves.

Of course, in saying all of this, I don't pretend that there aren't a lot of people out there who aren't having difficult times in their marriages. Indeed, I come from a very large extended family marked with troubled marriages. Many people on both sides of the family tree have been married and divorced, some multiple times.

But marriage in and of itself isn't hard. As I just mentioned, it should be stupidly easy. And why not? Marriage is a relationship unlike any other. It comes with the unique bond that inherently makes two people "one flesh." And with "stupidly easy" being built by God into the genetic makeup of every marriage, the fact that we are born sinners into this fallen world does not change the dynamic of God's original design. Even as sinners in need of a Savior, the marriage relationship is still a fantastic and blessed thing that God has given the this world.

Marriage did not cease to be a blessed relationship just because Adam and Eve messed things up. Where sin has abounded, grace has always much more abounded. Adam and Even didn’t get divorced simply because they messed things up. The world literally fell apart around them and “went to hell in a hand basket” because of the sins they committed in their marriage. Yet, they stuck it out with one another for hundreds of years, and had an untold number of children. Divorce never once entered their mind, as God never placed it there.

It has been my experience and observation that marriage only becomes "hard" when we engage in attitudes and actions that threaten and strain the oneness of the marriage union. Whenever one partner insists on having their own way, and not mutually submitting themselves to each other, only then do marriages experience difficulties. Whenever we operate independently of the other person that we are one with, our individualistic self-interests can pull the fabric of a marriage apart.

However, marriages never go bad in and of themselves. God has designed 10 out of 10 marriages to be blessed, joyous, and successful.

It's only when we start functioning outside of how God designed marriage to function that the relationship becomes threatened. And the relationship only becomes threatened when people stop operating out of a sense of oneness, and begin to act separately from one another.

So, instead of going around and repeating the lie of the Devil that "marriage is hard," and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, I think we need to take the Biblical position, and start saying that marriage is blessed, beautifuly, and "stupidly easy" thing.

Biblically speaking, it's divorce that is the hard part.

Should Christians Save For Retirement?

Recently I had the distinct privilege of sitting down over dinner and talking to a young missionary couple.  Knowing that I have a background in theology and ministry, and making a living in the world of finance, they wanted to pick my brain and see what I thought about the idea of them saving up for retirement.  For the missionary society they are a part of requires that they set aside a certain percentage of their income for this purpose.  And in doing so, they have received some criticism from other Christians (and even other missionaries), for having any savings at all, let alone saving up enough money to one day retire.

I found this question very interesting, because when you and I think of missionaries, we typically think of extraordinary men and women of faith who boldly immerse themselves in remote parts of the world for the purpose of sharing the Gospel.  We don't think of people who plan on retiring from the missions field like people who will retire from their jobs.

We think of people who are putting their entire life on the line to go to the utter ends of the earth to answer the call they feel God has placed on their lives.  We tend to think of missionaries as extremely spiritual people who live very close to God, as the nature of their job requires of them.  When we think of missionaries, we think of people who will go somewhere, spend their life in a remote part of the world, and ultimately die there.  We seldom think of people who eventually come off the field, returning home physically and mentally exhausted, and spending the final years of their life in retirement.

As I pondered in my mind how to respond to this couple, I reflected on how we as the Church are often far too "spiritual" about practical matters of every day life.  And too often we "shame" people for how they handle practical matters, such as their personal finances, and for failing to demonstrate the "faith" we associate with handling finances.

We claim of ourselves that we are acting with a wisdom and faith not of this world, and we work up this great cosmic drama in our minds that God is somehow testing us in the area of how we handle money.  And we reason that if we don't respond in some irrational way (like paying our tithe instead of our mortgage), then we aren't really putting our faith in God as we ought, and that everything in our life is going to come unglued as a result of our failing to act "in faith."

As a result of such broken thinking, we misuse the Bible to shame the practice of saving money or retiring.  Real wisdom and faith, as taught by some, is in living paycheck to paycheck, and practically speaking, being constantly broke as a result.  Such people often quote the famous parable Jesus taught about the rich man who built large barns for himself so that he could live a life of ease and pleasure, but did not have the foresight to see that his life would be required of him earlier than he thought, and was called a "fool" by the Lord for so handling his finances, and not living a life of generosity.  Thus, we are told by some who so mishandle this parable, that the Lord condemns saving, or condemns retirement planning.

Never-mind the Bible is full of examples of great men of faith who not only possessed wealth in both the Old and New Testaments, but also made practical preparations in regard to the future, and were able to be a source of blessing to others who were without as a result of such practical thinking.  Joseph knew a famine was going to hit the world, and used his seven years of plenty to prepare for the lean times ahead.  Or consider how when Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes, how He not only provided enough to feed the multitude, but He sent people away with extra to eat on for the next few days.  Or consider how in the book of Acts, there were believers who were able to sell possessions and property at a profit, and were able to share their wealth with the poor as a result of all the saving and investing they had previously done.

But with all this said, we need not get in some great theological war as to whether or not Christians (or missionaries!) should save for the future and plan for some form of retirement.  If they have the means and ability to, I believe a Christian can and should save for the future, and plan for retirement. The way I see it, the question of saving and retirement to me isn't so much a question of one's theology or spirituality, as it is simply about living a very practical life.

To question whether or not a Christian should try to save and plan for retirement is like questioning whether or not a Christian should own a refrigerator.  Stop and think about it: Why do you own a refrigerator? Is it not because you buy food in bulk at the grocery store, and plan on keeping it for a few days, if not longer?  Or if you see a great deal on meat, do you not buy some extra meat, and come home and wrap in up in a freezer bag and store it for future consumption?

For those of you who think it is a sin or unspiritual to save and plan for retirement, how would you feel if a Christian guilt tripped you over owning a refrigerator and buying food in bulk?  If you are truly living by faith, should you not go to the grocery store every single day and buy food and make it fresh?  Should you refuse to stick a lasagna in the refrigerator so that you and your family can eat off leftovers later this week?  Do you not trust God to provide you with "daily" bread?  Why is it then that you have a refrigerator in your house?  O Christian, where is your faith???

Of course, no Christian thinks it is a sin to own a refrigerator (well, except for the Amish).  For us owning a refrigerator is just practical and common sense.  We own refrigerators, not only for the convenience of avoiding excessive trips to the grocery store, but so we can stretch out our dollar and make food last for a longer period of time than it would otherwise naturally last.  And in doing so, we are taking the "daily" bread that God has provided for us in the present, and using it to make provision for the future.  It's a simple matter of practicality.  Indeed, not owning a refrigerator would be seen by most as an unwise and foolish decision.

And if we unquestionably make use of refrigerators and freezers when it comes to food storage, should we not make use of savings, retirement accounts, and other investment tools when it comes towards handling money? Why is it that we see a refrigerator as common sense, but we see saving for the future as some great acid test of faith?  Far from being an issue of spirituality, worldliness, or sin, saving for the future is simply a matter of common sense and practical wisdom.

I advised this young missionary couple that I thought it would be wise for them to save for the future and to plan for eventual retirement.  Even should they die out on the mission field and never retire, the money they saved could be used to pay for their funeral, or to bless others in the form of an inheritance.  Such was like many missionaries in the course of history, who went to the mission field, and brought a coffin with them wherever they moved.  They knew they were going to die on the field one day, and they made practical arrangements ahead of time for their death.  Such wasn't an issue of spirituality and faith to trust God with the mans of providing them a proper burial, but such was simply a matter of practical wisdom and common sense.

We as the Church need much more common sense and practical wisdom.  We need less pseudo-spirituality that masks itself as wisdom.

Happy New Year! You Might Die in 2015...

Happy New Year!!!

As is tradition, this time of year is a time of year in which people take inventory of their lives and often make new resolutions for the coming year.

"I'm going to lose weight, save more money, and be a better husband!"  

But one thing I've noticed that is common amongst New Years resolutions is that most, if not all resolutions that we make presume that our lives will continue for the entire year... and then some.  Few, if any of us, consider that we might actually die before the year is out.

I know for most of us, we aren't too worried about dying.  We are young-ish, in relatively good health, and the riskiest behavior most of us engage in is probably driving 10 MPH over the speed limit on the interstate.

Yet if you were to survey the obituaries from the past year, you would discover a lot of people who celebrated the arrival of 2014, that had no clue whatsoever that they were going to die before the 2015 ball drop.  According to the most recent statistics by the CDC, approximately 2.5 million people in the United States will probably die in the coming year.  There is a chance, even if seemingly small, you may be among them.  The very next funeral you attend may be your own.

As I was reading through the book of James today, I couldn't help but be reminded of the temporary nature of life, and how not a single one of us is promised tomorrow.

In James 4:13-17, we read about a couple businessmen who were a bit self-assured about their dealings, and with confidence, they made projections about how in the coming year they would expand their business into new markets and make a handsome profit in the process.  If we met such men today, we would probably praise them as being great leaders in business world and in the church.  They would probably be made deacons, and asked to speak at the occasional conference.

The apostle James has less than kind words for such men.  Far from praising them for their ability to "dream big," and to trust in God for their future, James sees prophetically through such speaking and calls such "positive" forward-thinking for what it really is: "arrogance," and "evil."

Such thinking, which was just as common as it was back then as it is today, is arrogant and evil because such thinking is actually terribly small and short-sighted, in spite of its many cheerleaders who say otherwise.  It's arrogant and evil because it refuses to step back and look at life as God sees our days.

Such thinking produces pop-culture philosophies of life that rhyme with YOLO.

I heard a pastor once say, "Within 15 minutes of them putting you in the ground, somebody will be asking somebody else to pass the bucket of fried chicken."  The truth of the matter is that as James says, "Life is but a vapor!"  You are here one moment, and gone the next.

Within a few years of dying, there will hardly be any evidence that you ever even existed.  Within a few years, people will stop saying your name.  And within 100 years, nobody will probably even own a copy of your photograph.

Of course, such truths we know subconsciously.  Ten out of ten people die, and we all know that we will be among the dead one day.  But we try to leave such thinking in our subconscious.  We try our hardest to insulate ourselves from the thought of death.  We feel it helps us to truly live our lives by not thinking about our eventual demise.  Instead we think about "living for the moment."

But, Biblically speaking, living for the moment is about the dumbest thing you can do, and there is no virtue or wisdom in it.  It's thinking born out of arrogance, that deludes us into living for "the now," instead of living our lives in light of eternity.  It robs us of the ability to live our lives out of a greater eternal purpose.  And in robbing us of a greater eternal purpose and sense of destiny, we engage in worthless works that will not survive the grave.  Instead, we damn ourselves to do nothing in our lives beyond our ability to concern ourselves with things that moths ultimately consume, and things that thieves eventually steal and make their own.

Therefore, as you go about the New Year making goals and resolutions for 2015, consider the very real possibility that this year may very well be your last.  And knowing such a possibility, make it your goal to be involved in the things that really matter in this life and the next, and to engage in the things that Jesus said will produce something that ultimately endures throughout all of eternity.